


get used to it

by jswoon2



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: 5 Things, 5+1 Things, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Background Relationships, Embarrassment, Established Relationship, F/M, Fluff, M/M, Sex Toys
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-09
Updated: 2015-05-09
Packaged: 2018-03-29 16:51:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,500
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3903715
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jswoon2/pseuds/jswoon2
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Robb is happy that his best friend Theon and his half-brother Jon are dating until he finds out what that really entails.</p>
            </blockquote>





	get used to it

**Author's Note:**

> I apologize for any mistakes. It's proofread twice over but not beta'd.

1

The first time is really a mistake. Robb knows to knock. It’s an unspoken rule that he and Theon have as flatmates. They’ve encountered many awkward moments in the past so when a door is closed it isn’t meant to be opened until the visitor knocks first.

Nothing in his life could’ve prepared himself for the image of half-brother on his knees in between Theon’s legs sucking cock. Not to mention that Jon somehow lost all his clothes scattered across Theon’s room.

Robb screams - it’s a manly scream, though. Manly and dignified. So dignified, he does exactly what Rickon does whenever he sees Arya and Gendry kiss. He covers his eyes firmly and pretends he didn’t just see what he just saw.

“Sorry, mate.” Theon laughs. The sound of rustling makes it seem like he’s searching for clothes for them to cover up with but when Robb peeks through his fingers, Theon and Jon are still naked. “You should’ve knocked. We try really hard to keep it down when you’re home.”

“Don’t be such a girl, Robb. We’re decent enough now.” Jon tells him. He fixes himself so he’s cradled against Theon’s chest, the sheet covering their lower halves.

As the oldest Stark he feels like this is unfair to him. Unlucky stuff isn’t supposed to happen to the oldest child. Sure, they’re the experiment child but they’re lucky number one and this does not feel lucky at all. Robb uncovers his eyes, thankful that Jon isn’t lying. That’s something Theon would do for a joke. A joke that not everyone finds so funny. Not everyone likes to be mooned by their roommate like Theon.

“Do you need something or did you just want to watch?” Theon asks, teasing. He wraps his arms tight around Jon’s waist as he sucks another fresh mark onto his boyfriend’s skin. Jon already has a dozen kiss marks littering his neck and chest.

He flounders a bit. “I - I just wanted to know if you - my family, we’re … I’ll just. I’ll come back. And I’ll knock next time.” Robb shakes his head. He did have something to say, only know he can’t remember.

Jon laughs, carding his fingers through Theon’s hair. “Whatever family thing is going on, we’ll be there. I know your mother won’t be very happy about this.”

“And you think father will be?” Robb can’t really see Eddard liking Theon dating Jon too much either. Especially if he heard that they were sexually active. The thought of Arya asking to go on birth control once as an April Fool’s Day joke nearly gave the man a heart attack.

“Why wouldn’t he be? I’m a peach.” Theon looks at Robb disapprovingly as if he isn’t the one currently defiling his best friend’s brother before his very eyes. His hand disappears beneath the sheet to where Robb doesn’t want to know where it goes exactly.

“You’re five years older than him, Theon.” Robb rolls his eye. “Just don’t give my brother anything gross. Arya has a new sword from Gendry and she’s been trying to convince father for some time now to get her a new practice dummy. Don’t be that practice dummy.”

He leaves the room with the sound of wet kissing and his brother moaning behind him.

  
  


2

Jon has been waiting weeks to hear back from the company he interviewed with. He promises Theon that he’ll give him the news first. It makes Robb a bit jealous but he understands. Their relationship is new, still in that honeymoon phase so he isn’t surprised Jon wants Theon to know first.

He is surprised that one the day Theon is expecting the news, he can just leave his phone wherever in their flat without even thinking about it. It drives Robb crazy since he wants to know the news just as much as the rest of his family does.

The phone waits until Theon is showering to go off. Robb hears it since he’s too busy tapping away at his computer trying to complete an essay for one of his pre reqs, too busy for noisy things like television to distract him. That noise though. It lasts barely five seconds yet it snaps him into attention immediately. He considers barging into the bathroom with Theon’s phone in hand, then he decides that isn’t a good idea. Theon would be sure to get back at him by doing the same thing.

He plays it cool for a few minutes. Preoccupied, he makes no real progress. He types the same sentence three times and still isn’t happy with it.

“Theon,” he calls out weakly. “Theon.” Robb looks in the direction of the bathroom, continuing to call his flatmate’s name as he reaches for the cellphone on the table.

For once he’s grateful Theon is lame. He knows Theon’s password by heart. Theon complains about phone privacy all the time not that he ever actually makes to change it. Four zeros and the phone unlocks. Robb says Theon’s name again for measure, just so he can say that he tried to get his attention before he _had_ to open the message.

Again the phone goes off. Another message from Jon. _Don’t forget to send me a picture back._

If Robb had any sense of foresight, he would’ve known to not open it. Curiosity, however, gets the best of him. He goes into Theon’s messages and is welcomed by a close up image of Jon’s ass, a bright red plug stuffed snug into his hole.

Robb regrets everything.

  
  


3

He doesn’t speak about the picture incident. Theon does hold it over him, however. It becomes an inside thing between flatmates. Jon asks them what all of Theon’s snickering is for but all Theon does is kiss him silly for asking while Robb flushes bright red.

“If you’re busy with Jeyne, feel free to not come home.” Theon tells Robb on his way out. He already is working his hand down the back of Jon’s pants.

Jon cranes his neck around, stopping Theon from wandering much further. “Don’t listen to Theon. He’s good in bed but he isn’t that great where he can go all night.” Theon nips at Jon’s neck. “Go and come back when you’d like. Try knocking at the front door tonight though, just in case.”

Robb leaves confident that when he comes back there won’t be anything fishy going on. Jeyne convinced him of it.

It’s ridiculous having to knock on your own front door, yet Robb finds himself doing it anyway. To be safe. To make sure that he doesn’t see any more of his brother that he hasn’t already seen. Living with Theon for so long has prepared Robb for things that most people don’t have to suffer through in real life. He isn’t the star of some awkward comedy. He’s a man grown with an insane flatmate is all.

An insane flatmate unsurprisingly naked on the couch with a phone clasped tight in his hand. Robb has predicted an outcome like this though. He keeps his gaze above the waist when he checks to see if Theon is asleep or just playing around. Jon is suspiciously missing.

“Theon, wake up.” Robb says, shaking his friend’s shoulder. He crinkles his nose when Theon turns onto his side instead. “Hey, asshole, where’s my brother?”

Groaning, Theon mutters something beneath his breath. Some kind of term of endearment for Jon. Robb doesn’t want to know why he calls Jon _‘sweet lips’_ but he can imagine why. He has to restrain himself from slapping his friend silly. The bathroom is clearly empty and only Theon’s door is closed. He’s learned his lesson. Don’t go into Theon’s room willy nilly.

“Where’s Jon?” Theon whispers into the couch cushion, uncrossing his legs. Robb sees too much.

“Yeah, Jon. My half-brother, black hair, vertically challenged. I don’t suppose you know what’s happened to him.” Robb leans against the back of the couch with a sigh. Jeyne had tired him out so the sooner he can go to bed, the better.

“Gods, Jon.” Sitting up abruptly, Theon looks at Robb with wide eyes. “I forgot about Jon.”

Full of questions (some he may not prefer to get an answer to), Robb follows Theon who rushes to the closed bedroom. The room smells of sex with Jon in the center of the mess. On his back on the bed, Jon gasps in his light sleep, hands fisting the sheets. Between his legs a short wire with a round control at the end shows. Robb isn’t half as bold with experimenting in bed as Jon and Theon but even he knows what the soft buzzing noise is coming from.

“Oh, baby, I’m sorry.” Theon apologizes, climbing onto the bed. Jon shivers as Theon touches him, his flaccid cock giving a futile twitch against his stomach.

Frozen in the doorway Robb watches as Theon spreads Jon’s legs gently to turn off the vibrator. The noise dies down gradually until the only sound in the room is Jon’s labored breathing and Thoen whispering apologies and sweet words.

“I waited for you, you fucker. Twenty minutes, Theon.” Jon weakly spits out. He glares with no real heat behind his words. Tired, he pushes into every touch Theon offers him.

Backing out from the room, Robb doesn’t miss Theon’s, “I’ll make it up to you, I promise.”

At least the next time he tells Theon that he’ll hurt him if he ever does something to Jon, he’ll have something to hold against him. He convinces himself that this time isn’t that big of a deal. He just hopes that whoever Theon answered the phone for was worth it. Besides, if Jon was really in pain he would’ve just taken the vibrator out himself and beat Theon with it. So really, there’s nothing to be concerned over.

  
  


4

Group dates aren’t really Robb’s taste. Jeyne likes them, though. Something about the bonding experience between future in-laws. Once a month the six of them go out. Gendry and Arya, Jon and Theon, and Robb with Jeyne. Jeyne predicts that one of these days Sansa will be next to join their group. She’s been hanging out with the Tyrells often lately but it’s a debate amongst the Stark children whether or not it’s the Tyrell boy or _girl_ that she’s been close to courting.

This date is a movie and a dinner. Arya wants to see the new slasher film and usually whatever Arya wants to see, so does Gendry. Jeyne doesn’t like bloody films. Jon and Theon are pretty indifferent. They’ve taken to taking advantage of the dark room to spend their time kissing instead of paying attention. That leaves Robb to decide what they’ll watch tonight.

“It’s an action film.”

“Any explosions?” Arya asks. At her hip Gendry resists laughing.

Robb rolls his eyes. “Of course there’s explosions. It’s an action film.”

Just like that, they’re all appeased.

Sitting at the end of the row, Theon makes it halfway through the movie before he decides he’s disinterested. Apparently blowing up Manhattan isn’t half as amusing as marking Jon’s neck. Though engrossed, Jon leans to the side to make more room, playing with Theon’s fingers when the older male tries to slip the buttons of his pants open. His brother’s resistance lasts up until Theon plays dirty.

Their kissing encourages Gendry and Arya to have at it as well. Robb sinks into his seat as if the piece of furniture will swallow him up. Even sweet Jeyne seems to be regretting this decision to go out as a group. After all, this is only the third time they’ve had to go out with Jon and Theon.

In the end, they don’t get kicked out of the theater. Jon leaves with a large mark on his neck that he didn’t come in with. Gendry’s lips are kiss swollen, Arya clearly smug. The kissing must have made the four hungry because Arya is the first to suggest where they should go next. A family owned pizzeria two miles from the theater.

Robb excuses himself to go to the bathroom first thing when they get there. He kisses Jeyne on the lips - chastely, of course. They’re in public and he isn’t Arya or Jon who can just kiss their partner so _dirty_ out in the open.

The bathroom has two stalls, one handicap and one normal, no room for urinals on the wall. Robb pushes the smaller door open with caution then locks himself in. As soon as he has his pants nearly around his ankles, Robb jumps at the sound of the bathroom door slamming shut loudly.

“You still owe me.”

Just Jon.

“Right here?”

Of course, by proxy Theon, too.

“You know Robb is in here though, right?”

“We’ll just wait until he’s gone. You still keep a fresh rubber in your wallet?” Jon makes brief smacking noises with his lips which makes Robb realize that he’s kissing Theon.

On the toilet, Robb wonders if it would be possible to flush himself down the drain. “Yes, please do wait until Robb is done.” He realizes he must’ve done something wrong in his past life to deserve this. Maybe he killed a puppy.

“Can’t wait. You said you’d make it up to me. _Any_ time.”

Okay, there’s a chance he killed a dozen puppies in a past life.

  
  


5

Robb tries, he really does. His father - their father - wasn’t supposed to be in town this weekend. Not the weekend that Jon has been planning on staying over for months.

He manages to slow his father down a little bit. Eddard only has so much toleration for nonsense. The man almost believes that the building Robb lives in is being fumigated. Almost. The fact that Robb hasn’t made any move to mention it before now makes his father suspicious enough to know that it’s a stupid excuse.

“You’ve got Jeyne waiting there for you, don’t you, son?” his father laughs.

Nervously, Robb resists scratching at his collar. (According to Jon he always fidgets with his collar when lying.) “Yes, I - we planned to have the night to ourselves.”

“It’s not every week that we can see each other though, Robb. I’m sure she’ll understand for just today that your father would like to spend some time with you.” Eddard reasons.

Said reason is too good of a reason. He manages a panicked text message to Jon: _ABORT MISSION, FATHER IS COMING_. He’s granted a funny look but he can only hope that Jon gets it before it’s too late. At least he can muster up an excuse for his brother visiting from university but there can only be so many passable excuses if Eddard catches Jon and Theon naked together on the couch. Arguing that they’re wrestling won’t work on their father like it may have on Rickon with Jon’s past boyfriend (though, that time they were clothed).

The message for the entirety of the drive home is left unread. Robb can only hope that Jon did in fact see it on his home screen. If explaining why Jon was between another man’s legs to Rickon was hard, it will be even more trying to figure out how to explain things to their father. Their father may be an accepting man but to spring this on him so suddenly wasn’t exactly the way Jon and Theon intended on announcing their relationship to the Stark family.

Nobody is defiling the living room or the kitchen when Robb ushers his father inside. The kitchen table is strangely sticky but Eddard is quick to just assume that it’s due to half eaten orange still sitting on a soggy napkin. Robb immediately blames Theon.

“He doesn’t always clean up after himself, does he?”

Sitting across from his father, Robb forces out a laugh. “He tries. Usually he’s not bad at making sure that his mess is cleaned up. It’s much better than catching him in the act.”

Luckily, his father doesn’t understand just what he means.

“Well --” Eddard begins only to be cut off by a loud crash near the front door. “Is that Theon now?”

Robb jumps to his feet. “I’ll go check. You should stay here. Make yourself at home. Get something to drink, maybe.”

Hurriedly, he waves his hand as soon as he sees Jon and Theon together. Jon’s hair looks messier than usual, his shirt a bit askew. He’s picking at his shirt as well, unwilling to let it fall flat against his chest.

“Didn’t you get my message?” he hisses at Jon, pulling Theon into a rough hug. Whispering into the man’s ear, he says, “You can’t be here right now.”

Puzzled, Jon raises a brow. His phone has been on Do Not Disturb mode the whole time he and Theon have been out. “No, I would’ve answered you if I saw a message.”

“Father is here,” Robb pushes away from Theon, “and unless you want him to know that you and Theon are together, I suggest you leave.”

Hands on his hips, Theon makes a choking noises. He jerks his head to the side in a way that looks painful until Robb makes eye contact with him. Raising his hand, he tugs at his shirt collar, dragging his finger across his neck quickly.

“What?” Robb rolls his eyes. There’s no time for games.

“Father.” Jon takes a cautionary step back.

“Yes, father is visiting. That’s what I’ve been trying to tell you.”

“No, father. Father - he’s behind you.” Jon making more eye contact with the floor rather than his eyes makes Robb realize that they’ve been caught.

Eddard has his arms crossed over his chest, a pained frown on his face. “Is there any reason why you’re trying to push your brother out the door, Robb?”

It becomes a stare off between the four men. Theon contemplates running for his room, though the chances of Robb dragging him back before he can get the chance is high. Even if he did, Jon isn’t the type to go down without taking the one who caused the mess down with him. He would drag Theon back to the living room by the ears if he had to. If Theon was a lucky man, Jon would run away with him. They might be able to get away if it was two against one.

“Jon and Theon are together! They’ve been dating for months now, don’t kill me.” Robb blurts, wincing as he catches the shocked stares in the room. Theon and Jon used to bicker all the time - like an old couple, but they try not to talk about that part - so that they’ve come to date isn’t something Eddard could’ve foresaw.

Their father only pinches the bridge of his nose. At least he isn’t having a cow like when Arya introduced Gendry to him. (“Gendry? Gendry? You’re dating the Baratheon boy who never wears a shirt? Even if he does wear a shirt, it’s a poor excuse for a shirt. He’s easy on the eyes but he has more muscle than brains that bullheaded boy.”) He looks strangely calm, as if he expected Jon to have a boyfriend like Theon. Not Theon though. Nobody could’ve seen Jon and Theon _together_.

“Please just tell me I don’t have to have the condom talk with you two.” Eddard sighs, eyes still closed. Robb is sure he’s hoping that when he opens his eyes what just happened will be but a figment of his imagination.

“We’re as safe as can be.” Jon reassures, answering perhaps a bit too quickly.

“You’ll be coming to our family dinner this weekend.” Eddard makes it sound like a request despite his eyes saying it’s an order.

So the first meeting with the parent - Robb can’t even fathom what seeing Catelyn’s face will be like - didn’t go that bad. It could’ve gone worse. Eddard could’ve seen the large mark Jon was sporting on the back of his neck.

The boys consider themselves lucky this time.

  
  


+1

Catelyn does find out. Two and a half months later to be exact when all the Starks plus their significant others are vacationing. Jon and Theon are making out passionately in the pool, Robb with Jeyne trying to ignore the scene behind him when their mother walks out with snacks. They watch the way the woman’s eyes suddenly get angry at the sight of Jon sitting on the pool step, his legs wide open with Theon between them. Robb hadn’t even blinked at the sight. They’ve gotten used to it but Catelyn. Well Catelyn is different.

She only threatens to kill Eddard a little bit when she finds out he knew before her.

It’s decided by the Stark family that they like Theon. Well, only a bit more Satin but the Starks don’t talk about him. (The Satin thing is another story. The boy wasn’t prostitute after all even if he did smell like one, whatever that’s supposed to mean.)

 

 


End file.
